[There's that moment of rage again, because Lyle had never asked to be protected the way Neil had. Protection - tying his hands and subjecting him to a life that kept him from doing any good. But there were some things that just couldn't be stopped from happening, and it's up to him to let go, if moving on is a thing that's going to happen.
Because he sure as hell knows Neil has no idea how to move on and let go.]
I know that. Guess fate or whatever you want to call it had a different plan. Or at least your comrades.
[Neil's sneaking in, he can feel it. It's in the way Neil says he wants to hear more about him. Doing that smiling big brother thing he always does, and he can't forget that Neil is what everyone wanted him to be. Thought he should be.]
Nothing terrible.
[It's short and to the point, because this conversation - having any conversation, small talk, it feels wrong, too small, stretched over this too-big issue they aren't discussing, and he's never been so good at faking it.]
[ That's awfully brief. They're reassuring words, but in light of his other prompts it's not much. And while it's true, glossing over such a big topic while texting only makes sense, he also recognizes the short reply for what it is--trimming their chat in preparation to end it.
The little knot that's building in his stomach shouldn't be there, not really. This is more conversation than he's gotten out of Lyle in half a lifetime. He should be grateful, especially after checking out the way he did... but it's hard not to get greedy. It's very, very tempting to draw this out as long as possible and grab for whatever he can get.
But that's not how this sort of thing goes, and he knows it. Pushing Lyle has never worked. ]
That's a relief.
I don't know how much else we can really go over in text. So do you mind if I make a request before we sign off?
[There's that surge of relief, the one that always comes from just being left alone, even just for a few minutes, to recuperate, to figure out what the hell is going on in his own mind. To fight through his own resistances.
And Neil's got a point - dealing with this in text isn't the best idea.
He hesitates for a good 10 minutes before responding, weighing whatever Neil might request against what he's willing to give and then deciding that the ball's in his court anyway, so there's no need to rush it.]
Don't be a stranger? I know you have reason to be, but I really would like to give things another shot.
And go ahead. I'm all ears.
[ As Lyle surmised, the ball really is in his court. There's no mention of frequency of contact or a physical meeting, not even a prompt for an answer. Just a repetition of his opening statement, asking for a chance.
He wasn't expecting a question in return. It leaves him both a little hopeful and a little anxious. ]
We'll see. By the way, that doctor of yours, he's pretty difficult.
[It might seem off-topic, or off-hand, but it's brought to the forefront by what's on his mind. Try not to be a stranger? Maybe. But it's going to be hard to feel like a stranger at all when people keep mistaking him for Neil. Already it's beginning, and it probably won't stop.
Story of his life.]
You know where a guy can pick up a pack of smokes?
'S all I can ask for. And... which one? I've seen two doctors and they're both a little... unique.
[ Sure, it seems a little random, but he doesn't mind what seems like idle chatter. Too bad he doesn't get the significance of the mention.
As for the question of smokes... that earns a pair of raised eyebrows and pursed lips. Since when did Lyle start smoking? ...Though, now is probably not the time to get on his case about it. ]
I've never paid enough attention to know for sure, but there's a little shop called Jung's on the north side of the Water District market. It sells the usual convenience store fare, so it's probably a good bet.
[ At first the description of Saphir makes him laugh. He knows exactly who that applies to. But then the full weight of that next sentence hits and... ouch. That's probably not going to help relations much. ]
Oh. Sorry to hear that.
Actually, that reminds me. I've got one more thing to bring up and then I'll let you sleep.
What name do you think you'll be going by around here? It'll clear up confusion to know, but either way, I'll probably be letting go of "Lockon Stratos". It's not really mine anymore.
[He just lets go of it. There's no use reaming out Neil over it, not right now. He's half exhausted from being up all day and not getting any sleep to boot. It's too much.]
I guess it's something I've gotten used to. But you're still the original.
[He just doesn't know if he wants it. Not with all the torn feelings since he failed to shoot down Anew. His mind feels raw from it, and dealing with it right now along with Neil being alive again is too much.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[ TEXT ]
Because he sure as hell knows Neil has no idea how to move on and let go.]
I know that. Guess fate or whatever you want to call it had a different plan. Or at least your comrades.
You could say that.
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So it seems. I wouldn't mind hearing more about how that played out on your end. I only really got the bare bones of it.
That's rather cryptic. Whatever happened, I hope it didn't end TOO badly.
[ TEXT ]
Nothing terrible.
[It's short and to the point, because this conversation - having any conversation, small talk, it feels wrong, too small, stretched over this too-big issue they aren't discussing, and he's never been so good at faking it.]
[ TEXT ]
The little knot that's building in his stomach shouldn't be there, not really. This is more conversation than he's gotten out of Lyle in half a lifetime. He should be grateful, especially after checking out the way he did... but it's hard not to get greedy. It's very, very tempting to draw this out as long as possible and grab for whatever he can get.
But that's not how this sort of thing goes, and he knows it. Pushing Lyle has never worked. ]
That's a relief.
I don't know how much else we can really go over in text. So do you mind if I make a request before we sign off?
[ TEXT ]
And Neil's got a point - dealing with this in text isn't the best idea.
He hesitates for a good 10 minutes before responding, weighing whatever Neil might request against what he's willing to give and then deciding that the ball's in his court anyway, so there's no need to rush it.]
Shoot.
Providing I can ask a question in return.
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And go ahead. I'm all ears.
[ As Lyle surmised, the ball really is in his court. There's no mention of frequency of contact or a physical meeting, not even a prompt for an answer. Just a repetition of his opening statement, asking for a chance.
He wasn't expecting a question in return. It leaves him both a little hopeful and a little anxious. ]
[ TEXT ]
[It might seem off-topic, or off-hand, but it's brought to the forefront by what's on his mind. Try not to be a stranger? Maybe. But it's going to be hard to feel like a stranger at all when people keep mistaking him for Neil. Already it's beginning, and it probably won't stop.
Story of his life.]
You know where a guy can pick up a pack of smokes?
[ TEXT ]
[ Sure, it seems a little random, but he doesn't mind what seems like idle chatter. Too bad he doesn't get the significance of the mention.
As for the question of smokes... that earns a pair of raised eyebrows and pursed lips. Since when did Lyle start smoking? ...Though, now is probably not the time to get on his case about it. ]
I've never paid enough attention to know for sure, but there's a little shop called Jung's on the north side of the Water District market. It sells the usual convenience store fare, so it's probably a good bet.
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[He leaves it at that. Either Neil will get it or he won't, and there's not much else to be said. He sighs to himself, though, at the explanation.]
Thanks. I don't do it often, but now's the time.
Anyway, it's been a slice. I should be probably be getting to sleep about now. You too.
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Oh. Sorry to hear that.
Actually, that reminds me. I've got one more thing to bring up and then I'll let you sleep.
What name do you think you'll be going by around here? It'll clear up confusion to know, but either way, I'll probably be letting go of "Lockon Stratos". It's not really mine anymore.
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I guess it's something I've gotten used to. But you're still the original.
Might have to sleep on that one.
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Fair enough.
G'night, Lyle.
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You too, Neil.