[ The comm was in the next room, so he'd picked it up and answered without even looking at who the caller was, for fear it would hang up before he says anything. Then, when he answers, it does anyway. There's a perplexed frown just before he glances at the recently called list.
It's then that his mind blanks out entirely, jaw dropping so fast it nearly hurts. He hasn't seen that name on his phone for more than a decade, in part because his affiliations made him near impossible to reach, but before that... well, complicated barely begins to cover it.
His chest feels tight because while this is a call he's wanted to have for a long time... here is not where he wanted to have it. Lyle doesn't belong here and the old rage that has abated some during his stay here flares up again because the gods have no right to bring his brother to such a place.
There's not really time to stew over it, though. He has a call to make. Hitting the redial button, anger soon abates into a strange, gut-wrenching nervousness as he wonders if the call will even be picked up. ]
[There's a long moment where he stares at the phone, his mouth cupped against his hands, sitting on the edge of his bed and watching as the thing vibrates, signalling a call. Displaying who it is.]
Heh. Targeted and firing...
[He closes his eyes, sighs, and reaches out to pick the phone up, unlocking it after one more precious second of internal debate.]
'Ello!
[His voice is perky on purpose, but he's not quite good enough to hide that tired undertone. Or to really act like he doesn't know who it is.]
[The time spent processing that voice perhaps takes a little longer than it should. So much like his own, but the little differences are there... and that note of weariness that piques his curiosity.
Not the sort of thing to address right out the gate, though. ]
Hey there... It's been a while.
[ Understatement of the year, and intentionally so. His voice sounds a more hoarse than it usually would, but there's warmth there. Maybe enough to cover his underlying trepidation. ]
[Not a voice he'd ever expected to hear again. Not after being out of contact for so long, even before Neil's death. A death he'd never been surprised to hear about...no, on some level he'd known. Known he was somehow both free and cut off from whatever roots he'd had left.
There's a sick twist in his gut because it's easy to want to be close to Neil's memory and another thing altogether to be close to him when he's on the other end of the phone and Lyle can hear him breathing.
What does a guy even say?
Nothing comes to mind. He exhales sharply. This was a really bad idea.
So he does what Lyle does best, and runs, just hangs up again.]
He can't really say he's surprised. In fact, surprised is the last thing he feels--the way it's in step with their previous interactions is almost nostalgic.
But he can't just let it stand there, either. Lyle made the first overture... which means maybe there's a second chance here. So he has a plan to give it another go. ]
That probably wasn't the best opener. Care to give me another shot?
Time is funny here, so I don't know how much you know. It could be everything, but I won't assume. Either way, we've got plenty we could talk about. Plenty I'd LIKE to talk about, both serious and trivial.
I guess this is an open invitation, free for the taking whenever you like. And if you ever need help or a place to stay, here's my address:
[The reply takes a while to come - maybe half an hour. It's a lot to process. It's hard to even put a name on it. He can't say it's an extending of the olive branch when they were never really fighting and there was no big blow out, just Lyle going to stay in the dorms and missing everything.
It's hard to know what to say.]
Lockon Stratos. I know that much. How that lines up depends on what you know, too.
[ Half an hour is nothing compared to their previous gaps. Getting any response at all from Lyle is pretty novel when his occupation was such that he purposely had to avoid being trackable.
Speaking of which. ]
That does narrow down the field some. I know more than I probably should, since a couple of teammates have filled me in on some of the happenings since my... departure. Including a certain recruitment.
[There's a sick lurch in his belly again, at how Neil just writes 'departure' like it's not much of anything. A surge of anger and loss and there's that momentary urge to turn the audio back on and shout at him, shout all those unsaid things that make all of this so complicated and every day in that cockpit saying his catchphrase so hard.
But the urge passes, because if there's anyone who's ever been able to consistently miss out on Lyle's bluntness, it's Neil, for lack of being wanted at first, and then lack of being there.
Departure.
It's a lot harder being left behind than doing the leaving.]
I noticed. Tieria's here, and another face I'd rather not see.
[It's a bit easier when it's tactical, but it can only serve that way for so long.]
Let's just say I didn't expect to be following your footsteps quite like this.
[ The inclusion of 'departure' had been a go at tact, an attempt not to make it anymore of a big gut-wrenching deal than it had to be. But there's really no way to soften these sorts of blows, especially over text.
The medium's not really suited for any of these heavier subjects, really, but it's what he's got, so he'll try to make the best of it. Even if what he's about to touch on is probably a sore subject. ]
To be honest, I hadn't expected you to follow in my footsteps at all. And even if the reunion's nice, I really wish the path of footsteps had stopped before you got here. This place isn't much suited for anyone.
But a face you'd rather not see... don't tell me you ran into Hiling Care?
[There's that moment of rage again, because Lyle had never asked to be protected the way Neil had. Protection - tying his hands and subjecting him to a life that kept him from doing any good. But there were some things that just couldn't be stopped from happening, and it's up to him to let go, if moving on is a thing that's going to happen.
Because he sure as hell knows Neil has no idea how to move on and let go.]
I know that. Guess fate or whatever you want to call it had a different plan. Or at least your comrades.
[Neil's sneaking in, he can feel it. It's in the way Neil says he wants to hear more about him. Doing that smiling big brother thing he always does, and he can't forget that Neil is what everyone wanted him to be. Thought he should be.]
Nothing terrible.
[It's short and to the point, because this conversation - having any conversation, small talk, it feels wrong, too small, stretched over this too-big issue they aren't discussing, and he's never been so good at faking it.]
[ That's awfully brief. They're reassuring words, but in light of his other prompts it's not much. And while it's true, glossing over such a big topic while texting only makes sense, he also recognizes the short reply for what it is--trimming their chat in preparation to end it.
The little knot that's building in his stomach shouldn't be there, not really. This is more conversation than he's gotten out of Lyle in half a lifetime. He should be grateful, especially after checking out the way he did... but it's hard not to get greedy. It's very, very tempting to draw this out as long as possible and grab for whatever he can get.
But that's not how this sort of thing goes, and he knows it. Pushing Lyle has never worked. ]
That's a relief.
I don't know how much else we can really go over in text. So do you mind if I make a request before we sign off?
[There's that surge of relief, the one that always comes from just being left alone, even just for a few minutes, to recuperate, to figure out what the hell is going on in his own mind. To fight through his own resistances.
And Neil's got a point - dealing with this in text isn't the best idea.
He hesitates for a good 10 minutes before responding, weighing whatever Neil might request against what he's willing to give and then deciding that the ball's in his court anyway, so there's no need to rush it.]
Don't be a stranger? I know you have reason to be, but I really would like to give things another shot.
And go ahead. I'm all ears.
[ As Lyle surmised, the ball really is in his court. There's no mention of frequency of contact or a physical meeting, not even a prompt for an answer. Just a repetition of his opening statement, asking for a chance.
He wasn't expecting a question in return. It leaves him both a little hopeful and a little anxious. ]
We'll see. By the way, that doctor of yours, he's pretty difficult.
[It might seem off-topic, or off-hand, but it's brought to the forefront by what's on his mind. Try not to be a stranger? Maybe. But it's going to be hard to feel like a stranger at all when people keep mistaking him for Neil. Already it's beginning, and it probably won't stop.
Story of his life.]
You know where a guy can pick up a pack of smokes?
'S all I can ask for. And... which one? I've seen two doctors and they're both a little... unique.
[ Sure, it seems a little random, but he doesn't mind what seems like idle chatter. Too bad he doesn't get the significance of the mention.
As for the question of smokes... that earns a pair of raised eyebrows and pursed lips. Since when did Lyle start smoking? ...Though, now is probably not the time to get on his case about it. ]
I've never paid enough attention to know for sure, but there's a little shop called Jung's on the north side of the Water District market. It sells the usual convenience store fare, so it's probably a good bet.
[ At first the description of Saphir makes him laugh. He knows exactly who that applies to. But then the full weight of that next sentence hits and... ouch. That's probably not going to help relations much. ]
Oh. Sorry to hear that.
Actually, that reminds me. I've got one more thing to bring up and then I'll let you sleep.
What name do you think you'll be going by around here? It'll clear up confusion to know, but either way, I'll probably be letting go of "Lockon Stratos". It's not really mine anymore.
[He just lets go of it. There's no use reaming out Neil over it, not right now. He's half exhausted from being up all day and not getting any sleep to boot. It's too much.]
I guess it's something I've gotten used to. But you're still the original.
[He just doesn't know if he wants it. Not with all the torn feelings since he failed to shoot down Anew. His mind feels raw from it, and dealing with it right now along with Neil being alive again is too much.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[october 12; late night]
It's then that his mind blanks out entirely, jaw dropping so fast it nearly hurts. He hasn't seen that name on his phone for more than a decade, in part because his affiliations made him near impossible to reach, but before that... well, complicated barely begins to cover it.
His chest feels tight because while this is a call he's wanted to have for a long time... here is not where he wanted to have it. Lyle doesn't belong here and the old rage that has abated some during his stay here flares up again because the gods have no right to bring his brother to such a place.
There's not really time to stew over it, though. He has a call to make. Hitting the redial button, anger soon abates into a strange, gut-wrenching nervousness as he wonders if the call will even be picked up. ]
no subject
Heh. Targeted and firing...
[He closes his eyes, sighs, and reaches out to pick the phone up, unlocking it after one more precious second of internal debate.]
'Ello!
[His voice is perky on purpose, but he's not quite good enough to hide that tired undertone. Or to really act like he doesn't know who it is.]
no subject
Not the sort of thing to address right out the gate, though. ]
Hey there... It's been a while.
[ Understatement of the year, and intentionally so. His voice sounds a more hoarse than it usually would, but there's warmth there. Maybe enough to cover his underlying trepidation. ]
no subject
There's a sick twist in his gut because it's easy to want to be close to Neil's memory and another thing altogether to be close to him when he's on the other end of the phone and Lyle can hear him breathing.
What does a guy even say?
Nothing comes to mind. He exhales sharply. This was a really bad idea.
So he does what Lyle does best, and runs, just hangs up again.]
1/2
He can't really say he's surprised. In fact, surprised is the last thing he feels--the way it's in step with their previous interactions is almost nostalgic.
But he can't just let it stand there, either. Lyle made the first overture... which means maybe there's a second chance here. So he has a plan to give it another go. ]
2/2 [ TEXT ]
Time is funny here, so I don't know how much you know. It could be everything, but I won't assume. Either way, we've got plenty we could talk about. Plenty I'd LIKE to talk about, both serious and trivial.
I guess this is an open invitation, free for the taking whenever you like. And if you ever need help or a place to stay, here's my address:
[address attached]
Door's always open, at least metaphorically.
[ TEXT ]
It's hard to know what to say.]
Lockon Stratos. I know that much. How that lines up depends on what you know, too.
I guess that's what talking would be for, huh?
I'll keep it in mind.
[ TEXT ]
Speaking of which. ]
That does narrow down the field some. I know more than I probably should, since a couple of teammates have filled me in on some of the happenings since my... departure. Including a certain recruitment.
Thanks for keeping an open mind, in any case.
[ TEXT ]
But the urge passes, because if there's anyone who's ever been able to consistently miss out on Lyle's bluntness, it's Neil, for lack of being wanted at first, and then lack of being there.
Departure.
It's a lot harder being left behind than doing the leaving.]
I noticed. Tieria's here, and another face I'd rather not see.
[It's a bit easier when it's tactical, but it can only serve that way for so long.]
Let's just say I didn't expect to be following your footsteps quite like this.
[ TEXT ]
The medium's not really suited for any of these heavier subjects, really, but it's what he's got, so he'll try to make the best of it. Even if what he's about to touch on is probably a sore subject. ]
To be honest, I hadn't expected you to follow in my footsteps at all. And even if the reunion's nice, I really wish the path of footsteps had stopped before you got here. This place isn't much suited for anyone.
But a face you'd rather not see... don't tell me you ran into Hiling Care?
[ TEXT ]
Because he sure as hell knows Neil has no idea how to move on and let go.]
I know that. Guess fate or whatever you want to call it had a different plan. Or at least your comrades.
You could say that.
[ TEXT ]
So it seems. I wouldn't mind hearing more about how that played out on your end. I only really got the bare bones of it.
That's rather cryptic. Whatever happened, I hope it didn't end TOO badly.
[ TEXT ]
Nothing terrible.
[It's short and to the point, because this conversation - having any conversation, small talk, it feels wrong, too small, stretched over this too-big issue they aren't discussing, and he's never been so good at faking it.]
[ TEXT ]
The little knot that's building in his stomach shouldn't be there, not really. This is more conversation than he's gotten out of Lyle in half a lifetime. He should be grateful, especially after checking out the way he did... but it's hard not to get greedy. It's very, very tempting to draw this out as long as possible and grab for whatever he can get.
But that's not how this sort of thing goes, and he knows it. Pushing Lyle has never worked. ]
That's a relief.
I don't know how much else we can really go over in text. So do you mind if I make a request before we sign off?
[ TEXT ]
And Neil's got a point - dealing with this in text isn't the best idea.
He hesitates for a good 10 minutes before responding, weighing whatever Neil might request against what he's willing to give and then deciding that the ball's in his court anyway, so there's no need to rush it.]
Shoot.
Providing I can ask a question in return.
[ TEXT ]
And go ahead. I'm all ears.
[ As Lyle surmised, the ball really is in his court. There's no mention of frequency of contact or a physical meeting, not even a prompt for an answer. Just a repetition of his opening statement, asking for a chance.
He wasn't expecting a question in return. It leaves him both a little hopeful and a little anxious. ]
[ TEXT ]
[It might seem off-topic, or off-hand, but it's brought to the forefront by what's on his mind. Try not to be a stranger? Maybe. But it's going to be hard to feel like a stranger at all when people keep mistaking him for Neil. Already it's beginning, and it probably won't stop.
Story of his life.]
You know where a guy can pick up a pack of smokes?
[ TEXT ]
[ Sure, it seems a little random, but he doesn't mind what seems like idle chatter. Too bad he doesn't get the significance of the mention.
As for the question of smokes... that earns a pair of raised eyebrows and pursed lips. Since when did Lyle start smoking? ...Though, now is probably not the time to get on his case about it. ]
I've never paid enough attention to know for sure, but there's a little shop called Jung's on the north side of the Water District market. It sells the usual convenience store fare, so it's probably a good bet.
[ TEXT ]
[He leaves it at that. Either Neil will get it or he won't, and there's not much else to be said. He sighs to himself, though, at the explanation.]
Thanks. I don't do it often, but now's the time.
Anyway, it's been a slice. I should be probably be getting to sleep about now. You too.
[ TEXT ]
Oh. Sorry to hear that.
Actually, that reminds me. I've got one more thing to bring up and then I'll let you sleep.
What name do you think you'll be going by around here? It'll clear up confusion to know, but either way, I'll probably be letting go of "Lockon Stratos". It's not really mine anymore.
[ TEXT ]
I guess it's something I've gotten used to. But you're still the original.
Might have to sleep on that one.
[ TEXT ]
Fair enough.
G'night, Lyle.
[ TEXT ]
You too, Neil.